he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
