butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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