i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
soo... how was my night?
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