dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
