all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
