..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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