I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
