Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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