So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
