u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
