you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
