I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i think i just lost a toe
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
