Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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