She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
