went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
