I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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