just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
