Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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