just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
