i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
