I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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