when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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