For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
