I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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