i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
