Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize