im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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