she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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