I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
