yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
