you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
