Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
