dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just puked most of my soul out..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
