His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
