ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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