she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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