watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
