PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
