I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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