so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize