You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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