What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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