Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
