So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
