That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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