I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
