OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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