I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
