they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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