Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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