i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
