yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
