hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize