Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
