i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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