Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
