you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am one with the molecules
You are the jesus of drinking
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize