I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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